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  • idk…. grouchy?

    Daily writing prompt
    How are you feeling right now?

    I haven’t slept much lately. Mostly I’ve managed to keep myself in a state of constant anxiety over one thing or another for nearly a week. Mostly just naps here and there, when I can manage to calm my brain down long enough to doze off. Problem, however, is that I have exploding head syndrome. So how am I feeling? A little foggy, kinda sleepy, and really irritable.

  • Holy Friggin’ Crap

    My financial status has a way of causing serious anxiety, as Im sure many can relate. I need to know exactly where everything is going, have everything ready in time, any last minute changes or emergencies will send me into a hella meltdown. Up until the past decade or so, my life was, at best, utterly chaotic and nothing was ever secure or safe. So now that Im away from all that caused such distress Im very particular about things and any small changes send my autistic ass into sheer panic. It could be a C-PTSD thing, which I suspect I have but dont have a dx. Anyhoo, this past Sunday it happened. A surprise that sent me spiralling and Im now dealing with the after affects of said panic.

    First, I received an email reminding me of an upcoming payment due for anti virus software. I decided to cancel said subscription in favor of another. So I click the link, go unsubscribe, and move on with my day. A few hours later I check my bank account as I normally do and find a nearly two thousand dollar charge to my credit card. So naturally, I fucking panic (as anyone would). I frantically search through my emails, through paypal, through all my bills and my bank account looking for the culprit. My first thought was FUCK Ive been scammed and so I check the email that I unsubscribed through to make sure it was legit, and it was. So what the hell was it? Somehow someone got into my shit…. right?!? Hours of pouring through my paypal looking for charges that werent there and my bank account, back and forth trying to find something, anything. So in a state of absolute panic I email my bank like wtf is this? but in a more professional tone, of course. Sending the email calmed me down a bit. Progress, at least. I sat at my computer just looking back at all the stuff I went through to come up with a plan, calm myself, and find a logical way out of this. The charge on my card said paypal, which is why I was combing through my paypal, but in my state of distress I didnt read the entire thing. It said paypal spotify. So I found said charge on my paypal that said the usual price. It converts to icelandic krona during the payment. So Im converting euro to isk online and found that when I put in the amount it converted to nearly two thousand dollars worth of isk… from a copy pasted amount on spotify. Interesting, okay… so I change the comma in the amount to a period and the correct amount was then converted and THAT must have been the problem. The mistake was on the credit cards end, it automatically converted probably. Knowing that, instead of 11.99 euro i was being charged 1,199 euro. That meant I could work this out with the bank. Somehow. Right?!? Holy forking shirtballs.

    So the next day rolled around and I anxiously awaited an email response while being busy with other things. I tell my dad about the mix-up and he just shrugged and said “call the number on the back of the card, they can fix it.” I was flabbergasted, I didn’t even fucking think of that because of the state I was in. So I called the number on the back of the credit card, explained, they said they’d call me back in a moment. So I hang up, and within two minutes they call back and said, “okay, it’s fixed.” And that was that. Easy peasy. Pretty anti climactic I guess, just an abrupt end to the problem. I cannot tell you how relieved I was. Unfortunately, all the panic from the day before is something that I now have had to recover from. It’s Tuesday, and I’m still having slight bouts of anxiety throughout the day. Awesome. Not to mention, I have fibromyalgia so that is a whole other thing. Anyway. Crisis averted, all is well. Now time to go wrap myself up like a burrito and eat some snacks while binging a show Ive already seen before.

  • I Should Have Read About The Product Before Buying It

    My goofy ass bought a coffee machine the other day. I was kinda in a rush and just grabbed it thinking that it was cute and not too expensive. I get home and take it out of the box and set it up and am so proud of my new Dolce Gusto Infinissima! Also I fucking LOVE those pods. So easy! So quick. I’m looking at this thing wondering how to set the length of time on it so that my cup doth not runneth over…eth. After far too long of a time reading the damn instructions that came with it, I still couldn’t figure it out. So I did what any Millennial would do, I googled it. Turns out you have to count certain seconds for certain coffees. You turn it on and it goes brrrrrrrrrr and fills your cup but it DOESNT STOP unless you press stop.

    For most people, Id wager this not a big deal at all. But I zone out so easily, at any time, any place. So standing next to the coffee machine as it growls at me, counting the seconds, is rather inconvenient. Never mind my fucking impatience– which is the cause of my inability to find the answer in the manual. Funnily, said manual was basically just pictures and arrows. Coffee goes here, press this button, etc. So I guess ANYONE COULD HAVE FIGURED IT OUT. In my defence, there was a picture of a finger on the power button, then 30, then picture of power button again which doesn’t fucking explain that you just have to count the damn seconds because there are other steps between on and off.. I guess it was too simply put. You know, since I’m so goddamn complicated and all.

    Just a moment ago, I went to make a cup of Starbucks coffee (love those damn pods). I stand there, put the pod in, press the “go” button at the top and low and fucking behold- I zone out completely. As I’m staring through my big ass window, standing next to a distant buzzing, I manage to force my gaze back to the coffee machine only to find that the contents have spilled out all over my counter. Goddammit.

    If Im not mistaken, there were other versions of said coffee machine on the same shelf at the same store that I bought mine at. So instead of running up to it and grabbing it going tehe pretty! and looking at each one I probably would have found one that suited me best.

    Seriously though, regardless of how goddamn annoyed I am- its with myself and not the machine. It makes fantastic coffee.

  • Don’t Mind if I do…

    First post. Check. Check. One, two, three…

    I made this to complain.

    You may follow if you’d like to, but I’ll probably just get on your nerves.

    Wahhh wahhh poor me and all that jazz.

    Okay bye.